blogvember 4: attention!

2025-11-04

this post is part of a series: blogvember 2025.

about the title: something we forget to do.

ramblings on attention and distraction

these days, we are all so frazzled. it feels like we can’t pay attention to anything. and these days there are a bevy of distractions to keep us all busy. silence can be nearly unbearable.

i feel like i’ve talked about this before, but silence was unbearable to me because it was used as punishment. as a kid i remember being really attuned to whatever screen i had on me. at first it was easy for distraction to be monitored by being taken away, but the miniaturization of devices put an end to that too. plus, the opposite happened, where parents and guardians became hooked: it became impractical to take away your child’s cell phone, when you believe it to also be a device that guarantees their safety (they can call you; you can call them; and now, you can track them through their phone, too.)

anyways, i guess what i’m saying is that spending time away from these devices was something that was used as a form of discipline against me, and now even though it is impractical to do such a thing, i am still inclined to view spending time away from distraction devices as a form of punishment.

of course, it is the very opposite: these days, not distracting myself is a blessing, a deliberate choice which i took, time i spend for myself. i have to remind myself that i am, in fact, not a robot that accepts interference unconditionally.

and i can also show up for my compatriots the same way. i think it’s become instilled in me to reflexively respond, because it’s a very neuroatypical thing to not do that, and some people consider non-response to be rude. that’s how i’ve traditionally paid attention.

i do think though, that i can find ways to adapt myself to conversation. i understand now why people echo back what others have said (not just reflexively responding, but to take what someone else said and then re-interpret it). it’s a sort of transmission that i prefer to do nonverbally, that i think i am not great at.

i think this month i will try to practice doing things that let me pay a little bit more attention: the first step is noticing precisely when i’m not.